Kamis, 04 November 2010
Here are some stories that hopefully will brighten your day !!
Laugh it up ~
> APPRENTICE
Laugh it up ~
> APPRENTICE
A prominent lawyer's son dream of following in his father's footsteps. after graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father's firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.
At the end on his first day at work he rushed into his father’s office, and said, “Father, Father! The Smith case which you always said would go on forever – the one you have been toiling on for ten years – in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!”
His father frowned, and scolded him, “I did not say that it WOULD go on forever, son. I said that it COULD go on forever! When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn’t it ever occur to you that I was being paid by the hour?”
> SHOP LIFTER
An 80-years old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge, he asked her, “What did you steal?”
She replied, “A can of peaches.”
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. When she replied six, the judge then said “I will give you six day in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, somebody spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”
“Your honor, I’m her husband. She also stole a can of peas.”
> STORE KEEPER
Custumer, “Do you have any cockroaches?”
Clerk, “Yes, we sell them to the fishermen.”
“I would like 20.000 of them.”
“what would you want with 20.000 cockroaches?”
“I’m moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it”
> A MATTER OF PUNCTUATION
An English Professor wrote the words, “Woman Without her man is nothing" on the board and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman without her man, is nothing.”
The Women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”
> FOREIGN LANGUAGE
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat runs away.
“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language.”
> BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT YOU WISH FOR
A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating their 60th birthdays, which were on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that, because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, “ Well, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.” The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
> SCORES
When Suzy got home. She told her father that she got 100 in school.
Her dad, “Great! Let’s sit down and tell me more about it.”
Suzy, “Well, I got a 20 in Math, a 30 in Science, and a 50 in writing!”
“Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.
“It’s OK, Dad,” the boy said. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”
> THE SEAGULL
A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, “Dad, what happened to the birdie?”
His dad told him, “Son, the bird died and went to heaven.”
Then the boy asked, “And God threw him back down?”
> OOPS...!!
“I think the principal is a dummy!” Said a boy to a girl.
“Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“No,” replied the boy.
“I’m the principal’s daughter,” said the girl.
“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.
“No,” she replied.
“Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sigh of relief, and ran off.
> A MASTERPIECE
“Pardon, Madame!” one of the staff says. “But it’s not a painting, it’s a mirror.”
by : C'n S magazine (Cool n smart)
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